Me Ol' China (week 4)

Hello big noses!


This week has been extremely tiring and eventful... Well... Work wise it has been but as I do not talk business in this Blog, this means that other events I can tell you about have been less... Saying that, I made some amazing discoveries: my nose is huge! I have been ask if I got my nose from my father. Frankly, in Europe, nobody has ever mentioned my big nose, however, over here the "thing" appears to be really really noticeable. Oh well, if I decide to stay forever in China I will do something with it. Anyway, you are in the same situation, I am afraid, because I am not the only Big Nose around here, you are big noses too, even those with French noses are Big Noses. We, westerners, are all BIIIIIIIG Noses! Let's not talk about the Africans...


Another fault I got it's even more noticeable. The beard... It grows too quickly... We are more similar to animals than humans and me even more. Even shaving once a day wouldn't be enough by the Chinese standard.

There is something they appreciate: my jokes. I think it's just because they are extremely polite. I don't see how they can laugh at jokes even before I complete them. At the beginning I used to get big smiles from everyone... Now I am getting more and more laughs... They laugh at me! I cannot believe it! Even a client, a lady, told me, at the end of a very serious work session that I was very funny... I swear I didn't say anything funny.


Hey, one thing nobody has noticed about me is that I do not spit... I am sure that they would find it strange, anyway.


Anyway, this week coming is the Lunar New Year, known as Spring Festival. On New Year's eve I will move to my 1717 apartment. I got the keys already but until the 6th of this month I will enjoy the comfort of my current apartment before moving into an apartment where the smallest piece is a chair. There is virtually nothing in it. Not a spoon, not a towel, not a pillow... And I cannot even go to buy anything. Shopping centres are crowded like Italian post offices when they pay pensions. Anyway, next weekend I will go shopping.

Unfortunately, as most of you know, China has gone through some hard days and I think that a few words and some numbers are due for respect to those nearly 40 people who lost their lives, those 20,000 people stranded for days on a motorway, those 1,300,000 migrants blocked in various cities, the 1.6 million people that have been relocated and the other million that will be relocated soon, those 150,000 houses collapsed under the weight of the snow and the over 600,000 houses that are severely damaged. Let's add the nearly 7 million hectares of farmland loss and the estimated 4.5 billion dollars direct damages.

The bad weather has hit an area affecting over 100 million people and in some areas in 24 hours have fallen more than 27 cm. of snow that is an unprecedent record.


The biggest pity is the fact that for Chinese people, this festival, is comparable to our Christmas and many of them had the only occasion to visit the families shortened by these events.


In Beijing we have been enjoying fantastic clear skies. ok, it is bloody freezing but still cannot complain.


So my sympathy goes to all of those people that suffered losses and disruptions.

The Government is doing everything in their power and they have warned that the severe weather conditions will continue in the next few days.

Add to this the fact that shares are falling everyday, increasing their frustration and the fact that the inflation is going up and with the weather problem will get even higher. another piece of bad news comes from Shanghai were property prices are going down due to some new regulations (and tax) that is stopping investors from buying.

According to some we are already assisting at the decline of China... millennialism is always fashionable on the net and being covered by the anonymity helps people to talk rubbish when it pleases them.


I learned something new this week... I know that it's not true that the revolving doors of the building where I work are hard to push due to the cold. They are hard to push because we (all the people going in and out the building every day) do not know how to push! Yes guys... there is a special way of pushing some revolving doors over here. I have tried and it works. I was told by a colleague of mine and I tried and it does work... You need to push in the middle of the vertical bar. These Chinese are smart asses!


I learned a lot about food as well. I know that there is something in the food called MGS that apparently is very bad for you and I eat plenty of it because is in nearly everything they sell over here. I got a strange skin reaction these days and I wonder if it's that.


I learned that those dumplings accused of having pesticides in it are tested positive in Japan and negative in China. so I learned that, "plus or minus" is equal to "more or less"...

I learned that Chinese do not understand why there are fellow citizens living abroad as there are many opportunities over here.

I had to learn, as well, to say NO with strong determination, even when you would like to say, YES! and I have to be honest, it does work in many aspets of life.


I learned that table formalities are something that belong only to our culture. Over here they food with whatever utensil they got at hand. And I was going to eat everything with the sticks... I ended up being the only one using them at a table of 10 between colleagues and clients...

I learned that quite a few songs going from Don McLean's I love you so, to Italy's Volare and all other ear friendly international songs are Chinese!


I learned that spaghetti are Chinese and I am not talking only of the type of pasta, but the word itself is chinese.


I learned that the current generation will not have brother or sister in laws, brothers or sisters and their children will not have uncles and aunties. Different from next one because the law says if both parents come from single child family, they can have two children.


I learned that according to a law, local people cannot engage into sexual activities with Big Noses.


I have learned as well, that Chinese man prefer Chinese women and that Chinese Women prefer Western men. difficult to find Western women preferring Chinese men.

I have even learned how to get from my apartment to the office by taxi (still working on the right wording for the way back though) giving the address and the landmark in Mandarin...

I have learned that the guy that shows off in the gym running like mad every time I am there, runs at the same speed I walk and slower than my jogging speed and doesn't include any inclination. In 30 minutes I burn around 500 Kcals he burns 200.


I learned that you can search an ideogram you don't know on a dictionary.


I learned that "No" exists in Chinese and it's a myth the fact that the word NO doesn't exist.


I learned that sometimes people from the "Civilised" world would be better in their own country, preferably locked in their own homes, instead of going around the world and behave as if they can do everything they want in "under developed" countries. Something like smoking in the only couple of places where smoking is not allowed.

I have learned that most of the utilities are to be paid in advance with a sort of Pay as you go method and if you run out of credit you run out of electricity, water or gas.

I have learned that it is even possible to have installed in ONE HOUR, (ONE HOUR!) and internet and phone line if the building is reached by the ISP.


I have learned so much this week and I hope to go in more details about every single thing I have mentioned in the next few weeks.

For this week is enough like this, today is a tough day for me... Need to clean my apartment and start buying household stuff... Wish me luck!


Happy Year of the Rat, China and happy Carnival Big Noses!