I Love You, China

7 AM, up as usual at 7 AM. But today is not any ordinary day. This morning the bells do not seem to wish me good morning, they have a tone of sadness. The same feeling one has when listens to a song of the childhood and thinks of oneself laughing and enjoying that happy song. The same feeling, that the happy song seems to be a sad song because of the memories that brings back cannot be revived. The week gone has been one of the saddest weeks in my life. I am leaving a place I loved from day one and learned to love despite all its faults. Like a woman you love for a reason and that you could hate for 100 other reasons but that feeling of love prevails. Far from being perfect, China, has been for me a travel of self-discover. I discovered that I can be, over here, myself more than I have been anywhere else. A country where people keep their emotions well under control has had, on me, the opposite effect. A rainbow of emotions since I arrived here. Beijing 2008, for you all will be the happy name of an Olympic event, for me is an unforgettable year. I changed, this place changed me. Everything has happened during my stay here in China. Heart-quakes, snow storms, typhoons, blazes, mine tragedies, tragedies of all kind, losses in my family, personal set-backs but also I discovered new friends, new type of food, a new culture. I am leaving China much richer than when I arrived. I have made new friends, I have learned a few words of Chinese, I have come to contact with one of the most ancients cultures in the world and learned to love and appreciate the diversity that the people of this country proudly carry. My memories of China, if I should put a spot together, will be a sequence of smiles followed by one of shadow fighters in the park, fan dancers, traditional opera painted faces, people exercising in the streets and kids looking at me as if I were straight from Mars, people taking pictures of me for my funny (Big nose) look, waitresses laughing at me while I eat with chopsticks, or when I bite a silk worm on a stick. But, also, I will not forget the strong emotional storm that has taken me when the Sichuan tragedy occurred and the days of national mourning and the victims count rising and never stopping. I will have vivid memories of people, friends, that have accompanied me in this trip, whether for a day or a week or a month. Some friends from very far, some from very close, but all of them showing their affections. The words of my daughter one evening in Hou Hai will be plastered in my heart forever "This is the most beautiful experience of my life". I know how she felt and how she still feels. This place kidnaps your senses and makes a smoothie with them. The smells, pleasant and not, the sounds, very often noises, the gardens, the parks, the calligraphy, the way many dress, the colours. All together in a blender and you are lost. If the Western travelers that sold opium would have felt what I feel about China it would have been them prisoners of China and not vice-versa.

Leave a door open for me, China, and take my tears as a down payment. I will come back. I must come back. I am just suspending my life for a while, until the reasons of my departures will be gone and I will have no more reasons to stay away from you. I hope that you will welcome me with the same warmth you did in January, January 6th, when everything started.

Good bye my love.

I love you.